The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
