Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
