So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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