Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
