i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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