I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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