maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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