What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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