Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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