what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
