she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
