wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
