Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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