theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
