Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
