Ambien. No doubt about it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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