I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
