I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
