How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Jerry, you need to find god
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize