glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
