He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
