I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
