i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
