I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
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Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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