tonight lets celebrate not being married
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
