Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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