the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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