Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
