i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
