so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
