he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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