no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize