i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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