Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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