my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
