Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
