the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
