yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
