My first STD was from a foam party
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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