I just cut my nipple shaving
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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