had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
