"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
