Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
