i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
