I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
