i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize