I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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