he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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