Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
