Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
