i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
