I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
