She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
