Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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