I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
