JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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