he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
