If i come over, it means nothing
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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