The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
