in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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