So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
