turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
